How is everyone? Good? I hope so!
Honestly, I’ve been having a rocky few days. Physically and mentally. I wanted to have a chat with you about my last month/week, what I’ve been doing etc.
Rewind to the beginning of the year, Myself and my boyfriend joined a new gym; as you do at the beginning of the new year. I was feeling really good about myself, excited to push my limits and care for my body. Its been going well!
However… Something is limiting my progress.
Instagram; and you’ll see why soon.
It is Sunday today and I went to the gym this morning. Usually, when I go it is during the week; around midday. It’s quiet, just how I like it. So when I went today it was very busy and I instantly felt very insecure. There were lots of women and of course everyone always gets a bit envious of other gym goers, it’s natural! While I’m on this, it is important to say it isn’t just women either, men get jealous of men too.
Why do we live in such a competitive society?
Why do we go to the gym and instantly feel down when we see other people doing really well? Surely our mindset should be positive and inspired. You don’t know how long it might have taken them to get there, or how hard they work to maintain it. Maybe, they aren’t as ‘good’ or ‘happy’ as they seem. We seem to instantly see people who look good and think they have it all figured out. The truth is they probably don’t, or maybe they do and so what, good for them!
The insecurities don’t stay at the gym though. Everyday, I scroll through Instagram and see beautiful people with their perfect bodies. At the gym, in bed, at the beach. Anywhere and everywhere, they always look flawless. We can’t help but compare ourselves to that. We compare those bad, sluggish days to their online persona. It is unhealthy but yet we continue. Just as a disclaimer, I am not saying I despise these people or that they are bad, but that we see one portion of their life, a posed perfected version. We miss out on their down days and the times when they maybe don’t look perfect. Because in all honestly, perfect just doesn’t exist. We don’t see the hundreds of shots they took, we don’t see the photos they delete.
I guess the point in saying all of this is that I have decided to do a little experiment. I want to unfollow all the ‘fitness gurus’ and models on Instagram, or at the least I want to be able to scroll through Instagram and see real people. I don’t want to, nor should anyone feel so overwhelmed when on social media, every post you see should not be model after model, or fitness fanatics etc. It is just not the truth, social media is fake. That is the sad truth and it makes others judge themselves negatively. It has affected my mental health time and time again and it needs to stop.
I’m on a hunt for people who are real and different. People who don’t follow the crowd. If you’re interested in joining me on this journey of positive influence then I’ll point you in the right direction. Three big influencers I follow include @chessiekingg a woman who is exposing those typical Instagram shots, showing the world that when you sit down everyone has a belly! That everyone has bad days and ‘unflattering’ angles. I say unflattering lightly because I don’t really believe they should exist either. Another huge inspiration I have found is @lovingelliesbelly another genuine real person! I see her posts and she tells the most honest stories, this is a woman who doesn’t hide behind social media but indulges in it and reveals stories other people wouldn’t. And last but not least @salmaelwardany a poet who never fails to give me inspiration and admiration for her. Her work is incredible and so is she. If you can, go and see this Queen preform! Such a positive energy. As someone who is trying to build their online audience and be an influencer; I’m not just going to say all this and then go and contradict myself by posting fake photos myself. This realisation made me recognise that people need positive influence and that is what I want to do.
I hope you take something away from this and just remember social media isn’t the complete picture. People do lie and Instagram is the easiest way to do it.
Look after yourselves,
Love El x